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Sexual Assault Resources
The First Things You Should Know
You have the right to decide who and when someone can touch you.While that may seem obvious, situations can arise that make that seem less clear. You have the right to say "no" to anything that makes you uncomfortable no matter who does it or in what situation it takes place. A violation of that is not your fault.
A sexual assault, whether by a stranger or an acquaintance, can be very frightening and disorienting. It happens to all people regardless of sexual orientation or sexual identification. Survivors of sexual assault are often confused about what they should do next, and many question whether what happened was really assault at all, especially if the assailant was someone they knew or with whom they've had a relationship. Survivors of sexual assault are also often frightened to call or tell someone else because they worry that they will not be believed or because they are ashamed or feel responsible. If you have been sexually assaulted or raped it is important to remember that it is not your fault and that you have the right to receive assistance from people who will believe you and help you in your recovery.
Be aware of your surroundings.
There is a higher chance of avoiding sexual assault just by being aware of what and who is around you. Being cautious and alert can only be to your benefit.
Know your sexual desires and limits.
Believe in your right to set those limits
Communicate your limits as clearly as possible.
If someone starts to offend you, tell him/her early and firmly. Being polite is O.K. As long as you are firm and assertive. Say “no” when you mean “no” and be prepared to repeat it.
Accept other people's limits and rights.
Avoid excessive use of alcohol and drugs.
Alcohol and drugs interfere with clear thinking and effective communication.
It is estimated that up to One in Three Adult Women will be Sexually Assaulted at some point in her life. One in Ten Sexual Assault victims are Men. 77% of all Assaults are committed by someone the victim knows.
Heighten your Awareness of the Possibility
It is possible to be aware without being afraid. Thinking and talking about the different types of sexual assault, and what you might do if you ever find yourself in a dangerous situation, can increase your chances of staying safe.
- Always walk briskly; look alert and confident, avoid carrying objects requiring use of both arms.
- Stay away from isolated areas, day or night.
- Never walk alone when it is dark.
- If you are being followed, get away fast, change directions, and walk or run to a crowded area.
- Lock all doors to your car and residence at all times.
- Before you drive home, call your roommate, family or a friend so they will expect you and be aware If you are excessively late.
- Encourage group activities in early stages of a relationship.
- Take a self-defense class.
*If you are walking alone, try to have an emergency whistle with you. If you find yourself in danger, blow the whistle to attract attention for help. Another item that may help you if in danger is chemical mace, to spray in attackers eyes. You can also use items such as keys, pencils, pens, or books to defend yourself against an attacker.
What is consent?
- Consent is a voluntary, sober, wanted, informed, mutual, honest, and verbal agreement
- Consent is an active agreement: Consent cannot be coerced
- Consent is a process, which must be asked for every step of the way; if you want to move to the next level of sexual intimacy, just ask
- Consent is never implied and not to be assumed, even in the context of a relationship. Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that you have permission to have sex with your partner
- A person who is intoxicated cannot legally give consent. If you’re too drunk to make decisions and communicate with your partner, you’re too drunk to consent
- The absence of a “no” doesn’t mean “yes”
- Both people need to be involved in the decision to have sex
- Consent is an important part of healthy sexuality. It is the basis of a healthy sexual relationship.
"Never assume.... Ask before you proceed...."
- Communication, respect, and honesty make sex and relationships better
- Asking for and obtaining consent shows that you have respect for both yourself and your partner
- Positive views on sex and sexuality are empowering
- Questions traditional views about gender and sexuality
- Eliminates the entitlement that one partner feels over the other. Neither your body nor your sexuality belongs to someone else
- It is normal and healthy for women and men to expect to be included in the consent process
Red: Signs You Should Stop
- You are too intoxicated to gauge or give consent.
- Your partner is asleep or passed out.
- You hope your partner will say nothing and go with the flow.
- You intend to have sex by any means necessary.
Yellow: Signs You Should Pause and Talk
- You are not sure what the other person wants.
- You feel like you are getting mixed signals.
- You have not talked about what you want to do.
- You assume that you will do the same thing as before.
- Your partner stops or is not responsive.
Green: Keep Communicating
- Partners come to a mutual decision about how far to"go".
- Partners clearly express their comfort with the situation.
- You feel comfortable and safe stopping at any time.
- Both partners are engaged.
- Stay calm, consider your options and how safe it would be to resist.
- Say “NO” strongly. Do not smile; do not act polite or friendly.
- Say something like “Stop it. This is Assault!” This might shock the attacker into stopping.
- If the attacker is unarmed, fight back physically, shout “NO!” and run away as soon as possible.
- If the attacker is armed, try to talk him out of continuing the assault, or try passive resistance.
If you are in Immediate Danger
If you are not in immediate physical danger
Call an Advocate at TriValley Haven
925.449.5842 or 800.884.8119.
Get to a safe place. After experiencing a traumatizing event such as sexual assault, it is important to find a place where you feel comfortable and safe from harm. This location could be home, a friend’s room, the local hospital or police station.
Call 911 for immediate police protection and assistance. If you are not in immediate danger you can also call the Local Rape Hotline: Tri Valley Haven: (925) 449-5842 or (800) 884-8119 crisis line for a rape advocate to help guide and support you without judgement through this process.
Seek Medical Care: Whether you make the choice to report the assault or not, medical care is recommended for STI screening and evaluation of any injuries.
We are here to HELP!
Student Health Center 925-424-1830
Campus Safety Emergency Line 925-424-1699
Consider talking with a counselor. Counseling is often helpful for survivors because it provides a safe place to talk about your experience and your feelings.Counseling and Psychological services are available at the Student Health Center and at Tri-Valley Haven.
Remember it's Not your Fault, the perpetrator is at FAULT!
Recognize that Healing from Sexual Violence can Take Time. Give Yourself the Time that you Need.
- Listen carefully
- Believe your Friend
- Help your friend to report the assault to someone who can help - a counselor, the health center, a safety officer, a trusted adult, parent, teacher, or police officer.
- Let your friend know it is not her/his fault. People who have been touched inappropriately often feel that they have done something wrong.
- Be confidential and protect your friend's privacy. Talk to a trusted adult if this situation is bothering you.
- Be verbal in letting your friend know that you care and that you support her/him.
3.4 million people are stalked each year in the United States. Women are three times more likely to be stalked than men.
Stalking is a series of actions that make you feel afraid or in danger. Stalking is serious, often violent, and can escalate over time.
SOME THINGS STALKERS DO
- Drive by or hang out at your home, school, or work.
- Repeatedly call you, including hang-ups
- Follow you and show up wherever you are.
- Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards, or e-mails.
- Damage your home, car, or other property.
- Monitor your phone calls or computer use.
- Use technology, like hidden cameras or global positioning systems (GPS), to track where you go.
- Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets.
- Other actions that control, track, or frighten you.
ARE YOU BEING STALKED?
Stalking is a crime. Stalking is unpredictable and dangerous.
THINGS YOU CAN DO
- If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
- Trust your instincts. Don’t downplay the danger. If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are.
- Take threats seriously. Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end the relationship.
- Contact a crisis hotline, victim services agency, or a domestic violence or rape crisis program. They can help you devise a safety plan, give you information about local laws, refer you to other services, and weigh options such as seeking a protection order.
Notify Campus Safety if Stalking is occuring on Campus
Off Campus Contact the Police or Campus Safety for Resources
Sexual Violence (Rape) Victim/Prevention Services
Bay Area Women Against Rape
470 27th Street
Oakland, CA 94601
(510) 845-7273 rape crisis line
Oakland Consortium on Sexual Assault
1411 East 31st Street
Oakland, CA 94602
(510) 437-4688 ext. 48319
(510) 594-9290, (510) 594-9291
Tri Valley Haven
3663 Pacific Avenue
Livermore, CA 94550
(925) 449-5842 or (800) 884-8119
Domestic Violence Victim/Prevention Services
Korean Community Center of the East Bay Shimtuh Korean Domestic Violence Program 4390 Telegraph Avenue, #A
Oakland, CA 94609
(866) 744-6884 (SHIMTUH)
Safe Alternatives to Violent Environments, Inc. (SAVE)
39155 Liberty Street, Suite C310
Fremont, CA 94538
1403 164th Avenue
San Leandro, CA 94578
Alameda County District Attorney's Office
1401 Lakeside Drive, Suite 802
Oakland, CA 94612
Adult Protective Services
Adult Protective Services County Contact List
California Department of Social Services
Child Protective Services
Child Welfare Services County Contact List
California Department of Social Services
Batterers Intervention Programs (Approved)
Oakland, CA 94607
(510) 268-7050, (510) 268-7233
For more information please contact:
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Monday, Wednesday, & Thursday
9:00am - 5pm
11am - 7pm
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